A Bad Week?

I am having a bad week. Just, everything is “off.”

Monday, I was excited to go to the gym…but my brain decided it would be a great day to have a maj-ah migraine. They run in my family, and although I don’t have them as bad or often as I did as a kid—when they hit, it’s like my head is the perfect pitch and a Louisville slugger just can’t resist—WHAM! Home run….goodnight. So, I missed the gym.

Tuesday, my hip-hop class was cancelled. And, instead, they replaced my teachers with two Sacramento Kings Cheerleaders…yeah, that’s what I want. Two fake-tan Barbie dolls trying to teach my fat ass about dancing…Eff that! So, I missed the gym. But, the three of us did take a 1-mile walk through the park…which was lovely….until half way through I noticed that the back of my left heel was in pain. Looking down, I see a huge blister and blood. Nice. I still finished my walk, so IN YOUR FACE BLISTER.

As we got home and got our nightly chores, dinner, homework, etc. done, I crashed out on the couch before I could take a shower. ”No problem” I thought, “I’ll just take one in the morning”…right? Wrong.

Wednesday kicked my ass before my alarm even went off—oh wait, it never went off. I literally woke up to my loving hubby shouting “Honey! Wake up! It’s 6:30!!” – Which means I was going to be late. I didn’t shower. Ew. I brushed my fangs, threw my clothes on and ran out the door. I did get to work on time! But, then two hours later, I realized that I had my black shirt on backwards. So, I turned it around…only to advertise my white deodorant. By the way, Teen Spirit, you do NOT dry clear….pffffft!

A lot more went wrong yesterday, but in order to not indict myself (for what I may or may not have done to the car that parked so close to me that I had to enter my car from the passenger side where my legs became stuck between the steering wheel and my chin)…. I will just leave it at that…it was a bad day.

I got home and immediately curled up on my husbands lap and collapsed….and you know what my loving, supportive, handsome man said after he laughed his ass off after I narrated the misfortunes of my day? “So, I take it you’re not going to the gym again? Did you hit that wall? Are you gonna quit the gym now?” – OH. NO. HE. DIIIIII-DN’T.

I was shocked. Not that he said it. That he was SO RIGHT….and with that comment, I got a band-aid for my blister, put on my shoes, and we went to the mutha-luvin gym.

Then, I got home, ate dinner and met up with some comedy chicks that I adore. And, I got booked at the Punchline for next month…So EFF YOU Wednesday!! I won.

And that’s it this week. What did I learn? When life gets tough, and things get in the way, and pain makes you want to stop ---don’t. That is what the old Me use to do. The old Me would have eaten a tub of frosting and said “I deserve this.” The old Me would have called in sick the next day. The old Me would have hit that wall and ended up cancelling my gym membership. The old Me would have blamed it all on anything but Me.

I like the new Me. Here is my mantra this week.....

What I am learning is that it's ok to be vulnerable.

What I need to do when I hit that wall is push my way through it.

What I love is making people laugh.

What I want is a nice bathing suit in November...in Maui.

What I deserve is to be healthy.

Even if I can't do take it one day at a time...it's ok to take it a minute at a time. Bad week or not, I pushed through and I am feeling GREAT about my achievements--on and off the scale. We ALL have those bad days and weeks. When they rear their ugly head--kick their ass. I did, and it feels great. I bet I won't see Wednesday for at LEAST another week....lol!

Here is a tribute to kicking this week's ass.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-1mla0LeU

Lost 1 lb and The Old Me!

I lost 1 lb. Yay? Well, I am most likely NOT going to reach my mini goal of being under 200 lbs by April 1, however, I am still plugging away at this new lifestyle. I have arm muscles, more energy than ever before and a positive outlook on my health for the future.

The Real (Funny) Housewives of Rio Linda are getting more press than I ever imagined--which is GREAT. But, seeing my body in pictures and on TV is unsettling at best, and it's encouraging me to keep up the hard work.

In order to motivate myself, I decided to post an old picture and show you all a full body shot of me at my heaviest. I need to do this so that I can continue to remind myself of why I am dancing, swimming, jiggling and sweating every night.

So, I went to my online photo account and guess what I found? Nothing. I have literally hid behind the camera for years. However, after combing through hundreds of photos of good times with old friends and family celebrations, I did inevitably find one.

 

THEN

<<  YIKES! My size 24 jeans.

(March 2006)

I was REALLY miserable back then. My life was in chaos. I was a mess....and not in the hot way. I was not taking care of myself, my priorities were far from being in order, I was on 100mg of Zolaft per day, and my husband had just gotten into a huge accident.

Today, I consider this picture a blessing. It has opened my heart to see the path I was on, and it wasn't pretty. I am so lucky to have woken up from this slumber in time to reverse my lifestyle. I don't even recognize this person anymore. I don't resemble her physically or emotionally. That is an NSV (Non-Scale Victory!)

 

NOW

My (loose) size 16 jeans. >>

(March 2010)

Thank you Isabel Ginsberg Photography!

I actually LIKE this picture. It's me, today! My curves are real, and fading. My smile is bright, my face is much thinner. I am internally happy and externally silly.

As I compare the two pictures, I realize that I am making changes that will allow me to be alive for a lot longer than the road I was once on. This is the greatest feeling in the world...much better than a tub of vanilla frosting.

Have a great week everyone!

Driving Miss Daisy

I love the conversations I have with Daisy while we drive home from the gym. Usually, we are both full of adrenaline and hyper and so we sing, make farting noises or talk about how much we can’t wait to goto the mall and buy glittery things.



But sometimes, we talk about serious stuff.



Monday night was no exception. The topic was reincarnation—because that is what inquiring ten-year old minds want to know—right? Anyways, as we discussed the possibility of re-embodiment, we ended up with one of the most hilarious conversations that I have ever had with anyone. It went a little something like this:



Daisy: What is reincarnation?

Mom: Some people believe that when you die, your soul goes into another living person, or animal.



Daisy: I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone else. I think I have always been in your tummy or Daddy’s tummy.



Mom: Ahhh, that’s sweet. You know, you were never technically in daddy’s tummy….



WHOOPS! Here is one of those times where I am talking and not thinking. (FYI--I do talk casually to my daughter about these things. Although she is well aware of the anatomically correct names for body parts, in our home we use real-life words. She’s being raised by a Marine and a Comedienne –what do you expect?)



Daisy: I wasn’t? Well, where was I?



Mom: uhm…you were a sperm, in his balls.



Daisy: EWWWWW!! HAHAHAHA!! EWWWW!!!



Mom: LOL



And then there was silence, followed by a long, drawn out......



Daisy: Sooooooooooooooooooooo….



Mom: (uh-oh, here comes the birds and bees conversation….again)



Daisy: So I was a sperm in dad’s balls….HAHAHAHA



Mom: Yes, along with a million others…but you made it into my tummy!



Daisy: So daddy put me in your tummy?



Mom: Uh, Yeah. (sigh).



It’s not that I wasn’t prepared for the birds and bees conversation, it just reminded me of the first conversation we had when she was about 6, and I simply told her that daddy has seeds that he puts in mommy’s tummy and then a baby grows…Daisy proceeded to squeal “OOOH!! Daddy has seeds? I love (sunflower) seeds, did you eat them?”….and I replied, “Only on anniversaries….” I digress.



Daisy is quiet. I can almost hear the wheels spinning in her head like a cracked-out hamster running on a wheel. Then she says:



Daisy: hmmmmmm….I wonder what I looked like.



Mom: BAHAHAHAH—what you looked like? Like what you were wearing?



Daisy: Yeah! I bet I was wearing a pink bow and a ponytail, so my hair didn’t get messed up.



Mom: BAHAHAHAHH



Daisy: ……and I probably had my peace sign necklace on. And then I was like, “I’m OUTTA here!!”



Mom: LMAO



Daisy: (laughing) what mom?



Mom: Do you know what sperm looks like?



Daisy: no, what?



Mom: It looks like a tadpole. You aren’t wearing any clothes; you’re just a tadpole with a tail, and no arms.



Daisy: OH!



Knowing now that she is entertaining me, my little passenger sits up straight in her seat, puts her arms to the side and squirms like, well, a sperm…and says: “I bet I was all, ‘I wish I had arms!’ ”



Mom: OMFG, LMAOOOOO with tears....



Daisy: that’s funny, huh mom?



Mom: Uh, yeah. Like, I-might-use-it-on-stage-this-week-funny.



Daisy: I wish I could say it on stage.



Mom: You totally can. Let me know when and where and I will let you!



Daisy: How would I start it?



Mom: Uh, maybe by saying, hi I’m Daisy and I’m 10 years old----



Daisy: Interrupts me---Oh, I know…Hi I’m Daisy and I’m 10 years old which means a little more than ten years ago I was in my daddy’s balls.



Mom: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



It. Doesn’t. End. There.



Last night, I said her joke on stage. It killed. And then when I got home, and told Rich about it, my darling husband informed me that Daisy had continued the conversation with him while they drove home from the gym….it went something like this:



Daisy: Did mommy tell you about my joke?



Dad: Yes. Do you want to tell it to me?



Daisy: No, I’m not going to tell you the joke, but it was about me being a sperm.



Dad: _______(insert cricket noise here)_______



Daisy: Yeah. I was thinking about what I looked like. I probably had my ponytail, pink bow and my necklace. But, I probably also had my locket with a picture of you two, my backpack…..and fins…so I could be the fastest. Here is a picture:

ROTFLMAO!



Ahhhhhh, Daisy, our sweet girl…yes, you were the fastest, and the cutest, and the smartest and I am so glad you were the one that made it into our lives.

Day 2 of Week 6 – I Won’t Give Up

I started my journey on January 25, 2010 and thought that I would drop major weight by now. But, I haven’t. This knowledge is not power. It makes my classes harder. It makes my workouts emotional. It makes me think that I bit off way more than I can chew…ooohh…chewing…remember Charleston Chew Bars? YUMMY—I digress. But so you SEE what it does? It makes me think about eating more bad stuff and I find myself falling prey to oh-so-familiar “I don’t give a crap” attitude.

When I started this project, I set some ground rules. I would blog and weigh in weekly. I would take measurements and post pictures monthly. No matter what.

Yesterday was March 1. I had to weigh in, take measurements and post a photo...and I was NOT looking forward to it. All day, I was filled with a bit of anxiety. My family had gotten together the night before and indulged in pizza, bread sticks, wings and chocolate silk pie….WHAT? Needless to say, I was NOT feeling well. In fact, I was pretty nauseous all day. I am not going to do that again or anytime soon. It’s just not the way I can or want to eat. But, it’s exactly the way I ate for years…almost daily.

Feeling ill and unmotivated, I almost didn’t go to the gym. But, knowing that I am committed to blog, measure, weigh and take a picture, well, it got my butt moving. Unwillingly, I went to my Zumba class. Now, usually I like to hide in the back row, but this class was so packed that I had to move to the middle. I tried not worry about blocking the view for the gals behind me…which I am sure I did anyways.

I danced. It hurt. My stomach hurt. My muscles ached. My back was tight….and so, I thought about just doing 30 minutes and leaving. But that isn’t who I want to be anymore. The half-assed way is not ok. So, instead, I forced myself to think about how great it will feel in 9 months, when I am on the beach in Maui. I envisioned myself barefoot, sun kissed and wearing a cute Hawaiian sundress. I saw myself dancing and laughing to the music on the beach with my hubby and my daughter. I thought about it to the point where I closed my eyes, and let the music move me…and it did. I found myself smiling and thinking that I will remember this day, this class. The one I almost left. In December, when I am on that beach, I will choose to think about how I stayed in this class, in this moment and how I earned every single second of it.


I left the gym and felt renewed, energized and ready for my weigh in and measurements. I got home and went to get a glass of water and found this note from my husband:

All things are difficult before they are easy.
-Thomas Fuller


AHHHH! What perfect timing he has!! I still don’t know what I did to deserve this guy. He is my rock. He is my biggest fan. He is amazing.

Into the living room I floated, smiling and eager to take my measurements.

I am so proud to say that I have lost a total of 9.25 inches!

Arms:   -1.75

Hips     -2.5

Tummy -5.0 <<<< YAY!

My bust and thighs seem to have stayed the same, which is fine. I am way more motivated by my arms and tummy. The weigh in stayed the same as last week—I have lost less than 5 lbs. But, the measurements---well, HOLLA!

So, it’s working. IT IS WORKING!!!

Here is my latest pic.

Thanks for taking this voyage with me.

Hip Hop class tonight, ahhhh yeah!

Feeling Like A Big Loser

I weighed in on Wednesday. I lost 1.2 lbs. YAY! But, it’s not what I was looking for. BOO!

I am waiting for that “HOLY CRAP” week where 8 lbs is gone. I know my April goal may be unrealistic. But, I am determined to hang in there. But, I am struggling, emotionally.

Normally, I am hyper, happy and optimistic about the future. I try to carry myself in the light and vibrations of the positive energy that I want to be surrounded with. This week, I feel like I hit a wall.

I didn’t anticipate this journey to be SO HARD, like right away. Maybe this is exactly why my doctor told me to start seeing my therapist as I start this new way of life.

During my second workout with my German-as-a-first-language personal trainer, I was teary-eyed as I recounted my last 5 weeks of that thing they call “Gym Life.” I wasn’t a blubbering mess, like those people on The Biggest Loser—but at one point, I SO could have gone there.

Working out and doing something good for my life, health and heart makes me feel a little bit guilty. Why? I have no idea. Am I falling prey to the monumental meltdowns that we see on America’s favorite show? Maybe I am.

I think that I should start a gratitude journal or donate to charity because working out has brought up some pretty deep shit that I have suppressed or just plain ignored. My mind knows that no one had a perfect life. No one made all the right choices. No one reacted perfectly to things. So, basically I am no one…which is just like everyone, right?

When I think about all the mistakes of my life, I immediately start thinking about cake and frosting and any other sweet carbs. The problem is, I am my worst enemy and I tend to obsess on these thoughts when the mood hits. Notice how I began this paragraph with a negative thought? That is a problem.

So, for the next few weeks, I am going to change the way I think. I need to think of all the GOOD things and decisions I have made in my life, and there is no better time to start than right now.

1. I made a good decision to marry best friend. We are not the same people we were 5 or 10 years ago, and yet, we have reached love on a level that has no words. Our union is sacred. I have never been happier.

2. Our daughter is amazing in ways that I never was at her age. She loves life. She says what she feels. She is confident, polite, thoughtful and gracious. She is an amazing young lady and I am in awe of her light.

3. I always wanted to perform comedy and write for a living. And now, I am doing just that. When you do something you truly love, you become your true self. This is me, being present in my own life, for once. I love it.

4. I am blessed with a great support system. I have the BEST friends and family that anyone could ever ask for. They are talented, creative, forgiving, loving and true.

So thank you for sharing my burden. I am so lucky and grateful to all of you who have emailed me, commented and listened to me try to figure out why I am hiding in this big-girl shell. There’s a pearl in here somewhere….I believe that. Hopefully I’ll find it soon and then we can all celebrate with pearl necklaces….DOH!

A Bloody Mess

ZOMG….ok, so this may not be suitable for male audience members. It might be funny, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Question: What do you healthy gals do when Aunt Flow makes her way into town and reeks havoc with your guts in a way that makes you want to vomit split pea soup, cry and inhale fried food?

Do you:

A) Go to the gym, there is no excuse.
B) Go to the gym. Walk around. Splash some water on your face and breathe hard in order to look like you worked out.
C) Stay at home, curled up with a blanket…watching Oprah…oh, and cut your finger with a knife because I’m 5 and apparently I don’t know how to use one yet…

I did C. In a big way. In fact, my thumb should probably have stitches in it, but this is the year that I am NOT going to the doctor…remember? Plus, I can just imagine how the conversation would go with my doctor:

Doc: So, how did this happen?

Me: I was cutting grapes off the vine..with a steak knife.

Doc: You know that grapes a can just be pulled off the vine, right?

Me: Yeah, but I thought this would be faster.

Doc: So, the knife was pointed sharp-end up?

Me: Yup.

Doc: Do you know how to use a knife?

Me: Look Doc, fix it, ok. My mom raised me right, but I am a fucking airhead and I felt like shit because I have a vice grip in my uterus and I can’t make it go away, and so, in a desperate attempt to NOT consume all the hamburgers, cheeses, chocolate, cakes and candy bars in the greater Sacramento Area—and because I felt guilty for NOT going to the gym—I tried to cut off a vine of grapes in hopes that by eating it, my cravings would stop, all the while saving the bad food for the general public. K?

Doc: Well it's been too many hours now. I can’t fix it, here's a butterfly band-aid and a sticker. That will be $40.

Me: FUUUUCKCKKKK.

So now, I am at work. Typing without the use of my left thumb and still feeling guilty for not going to the gym last night…then again, I still have a vice grip in my uterus and don’t think that would be a good idea after all. By the way--have you ever tried to uhm...take care of your monthly womanhood without the use of thumbs? Highly difficult. I don't recommend it.

I am going to Hip-Hop tonight. And I will still weigh in and post tonight as well. Here is a recent picture—and a shameless plug for my comedy show this Saturday Night only at "The Comedy Spot" in Sacramento, at 8pm. this is a picture I actually like...a semi-full body shot that shows my now-baggy red t-shirt.... :)

This blog thing is like a personal trainer that was hired for me as a gift, prepaid and always checking in. But, it’s working. And, that is the main point, right?

Is that a muscle?

While driving home last night, I rolled the window down, rested my head in my hand. In the mirror, I caught a glimpse of my arm...but saw something different. Could it be a little bit of definition?

I flexed my arm to reveal a little muscle...omg! I have a little bit of muscle in my arms!! YAY ME!

This SO makes up for not losing ANY weight in the past two weeks. As a matter of fact, according to my scale, I gained 3 lbs over the weekend. As I weighed in last night, those faux pounds are gone and I am still at 224.2. But I am beginning to believe that phrase "muscle weighs more than fat."

I am still eating about 1200-1400 calories a day. I have my days where I have eaten more, and I have paid for it. My mini bat-wings are shrinking. My legs are so sore, I feel like they will snap if I walk too fast. But, I am pushing forward...no matter what. I see the changes happening and I am motivated to see more!

Week 4: The Voices Within

I inadvertently entered Week 4 with a hangover from a long, wonderful Valentine’s evening with my amazing husband. I had forgotten that I had scheduled my first personal training appointment for the day after Valentine’s Day. We don’t typically celebrate this Hallmark holiday with such vigor, however, my sister requested to have a sleepover with our daughter and we took the opportunity to party like it was 1998…(I was pregnant for the majority of 1999).

Now, a level-headed person would have taken it easy for the day, perhaps taken a nap. But not me, I ran out of time. My Becca was heading back to Afghanistan and her going away barbeque was set for three hours before my appointment. But it’s ME, I mean; I can totally handle this…except for the little issue of all my favorite foods being offered at the party.

I have absolutely no will power. I dined on bad-for-me food for two hours. And that’s not the worst part…my brain had the most awful dialogue going on:

Me: Grrrr. I have to workout.

Not me: No you don’t. You can totally call it a day and start tomorrow, clean slate. By the way, that cream cheese torte is amazing. Let’s get more.

Me: No. I need to do this. My blog is due tomorrow, and I have to weigh in this week.

Not me: No you don’t. Who cares? No one reads it anyways. Plus, when’s the last time you actually went through with something?

Me: Damn it! Shut up! I will do this and I will feel it and push through.

Not me: Yeah, right. What is this, week 4? Wow. So, like, are you going to quit in week 6 or 8? Oh, look, your favorite cookies with frosting on top.

Me: YUMMY!

Not me: See? That was delicious. You should stay here with me; I’ll comfort you with more of these…

Me: No. I’m going to work out….now.

Not me: Ok, well you don’t have to give it 100%.

……….and then I met with my German-as-a-first-language personal trainer.I told her I was full of bad food and hung over and sad that my friend was leaving again, and she said “well, this workout will take your mind off all of those things, at least for an hour.”

She wasn’t kidding...so I gave it 110% (so suck it “Not me!”)

She. Worked. My. Ass. Off. Today, I can barely walk. But I did it.

And, I felt GREAT! I accomplished my first appointment. And even though I am tired, sad, and craving cake, candy, crackers—anything that will make me feel better-- I won’t give in. I will refrain. After all, I can’t miss my hip-hop class tonight.

Not Me: You don’t have to go. Look how sore you are! You can barely walk. Let’s get pizza……

"Holla" for High Cholesterol

This is just great.

So, I had a doctor’s appointment in order to get all "my numbers." You know those numbers that tell you if you're at risk for developing heart disease, cancer, diabetes, an extra head and/or spontaneously combusting? Well, I passed in all the areas except for my cholesterol, which is lower than I have ever had it since 2003 but high enough for the doctor to want to put me on meds.

Here are my numbers. Unlike my measurements, and ion honor of Hear Health Month, I will divulge these.

Cholesterol: 222 (should be under 200)
Triglycerides: 127 (should be under 150, so I am ok!)
HDL (GOOD): 51 (should be over 50, but above 60 is best)
LDL (BAD): 148 (Needs to be under 100. 100-129 is ok.)

I begged and pleaded. I was all "give me 3 months. I am SO totally working out, like 5 days a week and I love it." She said ok. Then she told me I had to stop eating Cheese….REALLY? Well, ok. I can do that since it’s bad for my tummy anyways. But I am going to be a brat about it.

So people, I have 3 months exactly to bring my numbers down.Glad I know, but I will miss you sweet cheese.....

A 1.4 lb Gain :(

I knew this would happen. I know this will happen. After several attempts at Weight Watchers, I know this is ok. It's not a setback. It's just my body, and the way it works. And I am typing this because if I don't keep typing it, I may just scream.

I know this is ok.
I know this is ok.
I know this is ok.
I know this is ok.

There! Well, by looking back at the past 7 days, I realize that this is actually my fault. When I perform comedy, the shows are Wednesday-Sunday, all starting at 8pm. I have to leave my house no later than 7:15pm...On Friday and Saturday, there are two shows, which make me get home at about 1am. So, it was impossible for me to hit the gym during the week, but what's my excuse for not going on the weekend? Uhm...Superbowl? Yeah, I just didn't go, and this is what I got. So, there. I was lazy. And now I have a cold.

Last night, my already-ten-pound-lighter-husband lovingly encouraged me (in the Marine Corps, we sweat it out, don't be a sissy, let's go!) to go to the gym. I did. I hopped on the elliptical machine for a mile, and even though it took me 15 minutes, I do feel good today....so thanks, Leatherneck.

I also met with my trainer who took my measurements and BMI. It wasn't fun. I probably should tell you my numbers, but they are too big for this page, you may need a second monitor to see them...*sigh*.

Anyways, back to HIP HOP class tonight, H2O class tomorrow, Zumba on Thursday, H20 on Friday and Saturday. Let's see what I can do by Monday!

A 2.7 lb loss!

I have been working my ass off. Did you hear that? I have literally worked out for the last 8 days for at least one hour per day. I have counted the calories that I put in my mouth and been careful to not exceed 1,200 (except for a girls night out and a potluck at work). And, although I am pretty happy that I have stuck to my new routine, I am hungry... seriously hungry. No one warns you about this. Perhaps the trainer that I paid $300 for will tell me...when she finally calls. Oh, Cal Fit-- great gym, nice staff--bad follow-up.

Anyways, I am happy to announce my first minor milestone. I weighed myself tonight and was excited to see a 2.7lb loss!! I also took a full-body picture, and at the risk of evoking a massive puke fest, I am still committed to posting it, but it will be on Thursday because my camera cord is at work and I'm off tomorrow so I can have a spa day with my Becca.

So, this working-out thing that you healthy people do may actually be working... time to set some small goals.

On September 29, we will celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary. Our big goal this year is to spend either Thanksgiving or Christmas in Maui. But, small goals are important too. So, today I will set a goal to be at 199 lbs by April 1…no, this is not an April Fools Joke. This will be a major achievement. I have not weighed less than 200 lbs since my daughter was a year old. In fact, I lost a lot of the baby weight after having her, only to gain all of it back…and then some.

What I have learned in the past week is that I like to move my body. I really like it. And my gym offers a lot of different classes. So far, my schedule is Monday-Zumba, Tuesday-Hip Hop, Wednesday-H20 Aerobics, Thursday-Zumba, Friday and Saturday-H20 Aerobics and Sunday, I walk. Moving to the music and trying out new moves makes me really miss dancing in the clubs. In my early twenties, I lived there. But now, as I feel my inner-Beyonce come out, I sometimes glance into the mirror and see my reality. And, it's not pretty.

So, am I determined or defeated? Well, that's an interesting question, so I am glad you asked. Although I am scared, I am more determined than I have ever been in my life. I know that this will not happen over night. I am inspired from within. Each day that I enter that gym and I see the healthy people walk around, I know that a year from now, I will be one of them. And, perhaps there will be a cute, short, fat girl walking around in an insecure daze. And, maybe she will be looking at me and maybe, I will approach her and say "stick with it girl, cuz I was in your shoes a year ago...by the way--like my tan? Thanks, I got it in MAUI."

Bring It On

So, it's here. The blog that I have dreamed about and debated for over six months. I didn't gain weight in order to start the blog, but I am determined to lose my weight this year and my journey begins here. I hope you'll join me.

As a comedianne, I am inspired by crowds. The more they laugh, applaud and cheer, the higher I get. I intend to use this platform as a way to virtually perform for you as I make my way to being featured on the cover of some amazing magazine...I mean, healthy.

My story is similar to anyone else's you've seen on Biggest Loser, or heard from any other overweight, unhappy person. And if you're reading this, and you're overweight and happy--good for you. But in reality, it's depressing and you know it.

This blog is meant to be entertaining and very narcissistic. Those who follow probably love me as much as I love myself, so thanks. I may piss some people off (see paragraph above) and that's ok too. That is what the comment section is for.

So here I am, and here we go....bring it on.