Week 4: The Voices Within

I inadvertently entered Week 4 with a hangover from a long, wonderful Valentine’s evening with my amazing husband. I had forgotten that I had scheduled my first personal training appointment for the day after Valentine’s Day. We don’t typically celebrate this Hallmark holiday with such vigor, however, my sister requested to have a sleepover with our daughter and we took the opportunity to party like it was 1998…(I was pregnant for the majority of 1999).

Now, a level-headed person would have taken it easy for the day, perhaps taken a nap. But not me, I ran out of time. My Becca was heading back to Afghanistan and her going away barbeque was set for three hours before my appointment. But it’s ME, I mean; I can totally handle this…except for the little issue of all my favorite foods being offered at the party.

I have absolutely no will power. I dined on bad-for-me food for two hours. And that’s not the worst part…my brain had the most awful dialogue going on:

Me: Grrrr. I have to workout.

Not me: No you don’t. You can totally call it a day and start tomorrow, clean slate. By the way, that cream cheese torte is amazing. Let’s get more.

Me: No. I need to do this. My blog is due tomorrow, and I have to weigh in this week.

Not me: No you don’t. Who cares? No one reads it anyways. Plus, when’s the last time you actually went through with something?

Me: Damn it! Shut up! I will do this and I will feel it and push through.

Not me: Yeah, right. What is this, week 4? Wow. So, like, are you going to quit in week 6 or 8? Oh, look, your favorite cookies with frosting on top.

Me: YUMMY!

Not me: See? That was delicious. You should stay here with me; I’ll comfort you with more of these…

Me: No. I’m going to work out….now.

Not me: Ok, well you don’t have to give it 100%.

……….and then I met with my German-as-a-first-language personal trainer.I told her I was full of bad food and hung over and sad that my friend was leaving again, and she said “well, this workout will take your mind off all of those things, at least for an hour.”

She wasn’t kidding...so I gave it 110% (so suck it “Not me!”)

She. Worked. My. Ass. Off. Today, I can barely walk. But I did it.

And, I felt GREAT! I accomplished my first appointment. And even though I am tired, sad, and craving cake, candy, crackers—anything that will make me feel better-- I won’t give in. I will refrain. After all, I can’t miss my hip-hop class tonight.

Not Me: You don’t have to go. Look how sore you are! You can barely walk. Let’s get pizza……