Although he was due September 24, Ryan made his presence known a week before, on a Sunday at 11:00am in Safeway. My contractions started strong and only increased with each aisle. We were on a family trip to the store, to do "big shopping" in case he came that week. And boy, did he.
By the time we got home from the store, the contractions were 10 minutes apart and lasting for about 10-30 seconds. I sat on the couch with a huge smile on my face and winced with each one. I stopped smiling after two hours. This shit hurt. Luckily my mom was in town and practically skipped over to pick up Daisy. Unbeknownst to me, she also called into work for the week, bought more groceries and settled in at her house with our daughter.
By 5pm, the contractions were so painful, I was sure it was GO TIME. We grabbed our bag and went to Kaiser. They checked me in and I made it to the room between contractions. Now, my original plan was to listen to my body and go with the flow ... right? Right. So I was POSITIVE at 5pm that I was at least dilated to 6, and should begin pushing any time. After all, I had major contractions at home for the past five hours.
Wrong.
Not only was I only at 3, but my contractions were only between 4-6 minutes apart. They sent me home and told me to come back when they were closer. I bared down and prepared my head for the next few hours. I knew I could do this natural labor.
We came home, drew a hot bath and I channeled my inner Riki Lake as I labored until 11pm. I moaned, I groaned, I swayed, I stretched, Rich massaged me and made me an English muffin. For about four hours, I labored, meditated and lost my mucous plug. That was my sign. It came out--now it's time! We got in the car and were excited to see how far I had progressed ... to a big, fat four centimeters.
Time stopped. My dreams were shattered. I caved.
I wanted drugs and scalpels and doctors and formula and I wanted them NOW!
Get me the epidural, make it stop, cut him out, I'm done. I failed.
My epidural was a disaster. The nurse tried twice, and it couldn't hit the mark, you know, my spinal column. It was super painful. Then this dude came in and he got the needle in on the first try. And within a few minutes I was completely numb--on my left side only. FML.
My right side was a little numb, but I still felt every contraction. However with a few presses of my morphine drip, I slipped into a two hour nap and although my husband says I moaned through every contraction, I was sure I was sleeping.
At 2am, the midwife came in to check on me. She said I was still at 6cm, and I hadn't progressed in a few hours. She would check on me again in an hour. At 3am, I was still at 6cm, but the contractions were 3 minutes apart and the epidural had completley vanished from my right side. I was in pain, but now I was scard. Every time I would lay on my side to try to get some relief, Ryan's heart rate would drop to 60. They were getting concerned.
At 4am, my water broke. I came out of my trance and yelled "Baby, my water broke!" His response... wait for it... "are you sure?"
I could have said so many things.... but I just laughed and said..."uh, yeah."
Within moments, we were told there was a problem. He pooped in the womb, big time. They referred to it as thick, pea soup. They let me continue labor for another couple hours, but then his heartbeat kept dropping with each contraction and it was time to do something else.
A new doctor came in, and explained to me that this wasn't good. I wasn't dilating, and nothing had changed in 5 hours. I asked him if I could push, because I felt the urge. He said yes. With his hand inside, he said to try. I was. He said to stop, Ryan wasn't in the right position.
He looked at me and Rich and said "I think we should do an emergency C-Section."
"Cut her open," said my husband. Classy.
It felt like seconds, but it was about an hour process to get me in the OR. I was scared. But I just kept repeating "I am in good hands. My baby will be fine."
As they prepped me, alone, in the OR, I was told that since my epidural didn't work, they would be giving me a spinal. If that didn't work, they would put me to sleep. The spinal was much more comfortable, in fact, before they layed me all the way down, I couldn't feel my toes. They were happy with that. But then I couldn't feel my breasts. And from my lovely lady lumps all the way down to my manicured toes, I was numb. Which made it WAY harder to puke because I couldn't feel a fucking thing. But alas, I felt weird, looked at the nurse, and she held a bag up to my mouth as my body did what it was made to do--throw up.
Rich was finally allowed in the room right before they cut me open. They let us know that we would not hear our baby cry right away because they needed to suction his mouth and nose right away to ensure he didn't inhale his own poop. We braced for that. It was a long few minutes and they narrated it all for us.
"Ok, You're going to feel pressure and pulling..."
I felt nothing. No pressure, no pulling.
"Ok, he's really stuck in there, hang on."
I still felt nothing. Easy.
"He looks great."
We heard suctioning, and a doctor talking to him. And for a split second, my heart sank, but I continued to remain positive. He's ok, you're ok, you're in good hands.... and then we heard it, a loud, high pitched shreik.
I had given birth to a cat.
"Is that him?" I asked my husband. As if it could be anything else.
And then there he was, across the room to my left, under lights. Two nurses and a doctor were working on him. He was squeaking. He was pink. He was beautiful. I longed to hold him, put him on my bare chest, kiss him, but that wouldn't happen. After a brief kiss and smell of my son, Rich and the doctors took him into a new room. I cried myself to sleep as they stitched me up.
And if that's the only negative, then I'm ok with it because I know people who went through all of this, and didn't even get to bring their baby home, ever.
The recovery room was small, so we chose to only have Daisy come back and see him first. It was magical to see our baby girl hold our baby boy. It's a moment I will never forget. Rich and I were very emotional. It was perfect. Once I got into a room, our moms came in, along with our niece and my brother. Within hours, my dad came by and the next day our good friends and more family visited. We were so blessed to see so many happy faces.
So that's what happened. I got knocked up and had a baby. And now, he is 5 months old and I'm just telling people about the birth. Classic.
