I’m back. And in full swing of things again. It’s been 9 weeks since we returned from our vacation. In that time, we bought a new car (boooo! for car payments), I turned 36, Rich started school, my job became increasingly busy, I took a month off of doing comedy shows, the Giants won the World Series and blogging has taken a much deserved back seat, but so have my workouts.
There is one thing I have learned in the past 9 weeks—if I am not blogging, I am not logging.....miles that is.
So about a week ago, I was talking about going to the gym and my daughter overheard me. She was super excited. Even when I came home and was too tired to get my shoes on. She egged me on to go. I even got a little bit irritated because I felt that she was “guilting” me into going…but that wasn’t true. She needed this just as much as I did. So, we went. I explained to her that I didn’t want to go, but afterwards, I knew I would thank her. And I did.
The next day, I scoped out a new 5k run and I started running again. And I almost cried. It’s harder than it was 9 weeks ago, but I still killed a mile in 12 minutes. I pushed myself to do that. I was very sore the next day, but I love that feeling.
Running is a reminder that time happens at the speed of life and in that time, I can choose to run and clear my mind, cleanse my body and open my heart, or I could just as easily become a recluse, gain my weight back and project anger for things that are out of my control.
There are many things out of my control right now, and I must surrender them. I can't choose the outcomes. I can't change anyone's mind. But I can chose to run.
Running has given me strength, both physically and mentally. I like the endorphins in my brain after a hard run. I feel high, and things are clear. Life seems manageable. Problems that I dwelled on earlier diminish. And I get to spend real quality time with my daughter. Plus, I feel like a size 6 and avoid mirrors so that my energy stays elevated.
And so I run. And she works out in her part of the gym. And our sweaty faces greet each other as she takes the last of my water bottle, which I have secretly saved just for her. And we hold hands and walk out of the gym into the crisp air and a stunning sunset. And then we chat.
I cherish our conversations on the way home from the gym. Out hearts continue to pound from the exercise and our excited words flow freely—without judgment, with a clear mind. I am more present for her than I ever am and she opens up and talks as if she knows this is the safest environment she will ever have. With daddy at school, our conversations continue at home and into the evening while we listen to music, fold laundry and play games or light candles.
So, the other night, we spoke about religion. This blog will have to be continued so that I can properly present my words because I was raised right. I don’t talk about politics, religion or sex in public. But this is my blog and I can do what I want to….so stay tuned!
To be continued…..
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