A Bad Week?

I am having a bad week. Just, everything is “off.”

Monday, I was excited to go to the gym…but my brain decided it would be a great day to have a maj-ah migraine. They run in my family, and although I don’t have them as bad or often as I did as a kid—when they hit, it’s like my head is the perfect pitch and a Louisville slugger just can’t resist—WHAM! Home run….goodnight. So, I missed the gym.

Tuesday, my hip-hop class was cancelled. And, instead, they replaced my teachers with two Sacramento Kings Cheerleaders…yeah, that’s what I want. Two fake-tan Barbie dolls trying to teach my fat ass about dancing…Eff that! So, I missed the gym. But, the three of us did take a 1-mile walk through the park…which was lovely….until half way through I noticed that the back of my left heel was in pain. Looking down, I see a huge blister and blood. Nice. I still finished my walk, so IN YOUR FACE BLISTER.

As we got home and got our nightly chores, dinner, homework, etc. done, I crashed out on the couch before I could take a shower. ”No problem” I thought, “I’ll just take one in the morning”…right? Wrong.

Wednesday kicked my ass before my alarm even went off—oh wait, it never went off. I literally woke up to my loving hubby shouting “Honey! Wake up! It’s 6:30!!” – Which means I was going to be late. I didn’t shower. Ew. I brushed my fangs, threw my clothes on and ran out the door. I did get to work on time! But, then two hours later, I realized that I had my black shirt on backwards. So, I turned it around…only to advertise my white deodorant. By the way, Teen Spirit, you do NOT dry clear….pffffft!

A lot more went wrong yesterday, but in order to not indict myself (for what I may or may not have done to the car that parked so close to me that I had to enter my car from the passenger side where my legs became stuck between the steering wheel and my chin)…. I will just leave it at that…it was a bad day.

I got home and immediately curled up on my husbands lap and collapsed….and you know what my loving, supportive, handsome man said after he laughed his ass off after I narrated the misfortunes of my day? “So, I take it you’re not going to the gym again? Did you hit that wall? Are you gonna quit the gym now?” – OH. NO. HE. DIIIIII-DN’T.

I was shocked. Not that he said it. That he was SO RIGHT….and with that comment, I got a band-aid for my blister, put on my shoes, and we went to the mutha-luvin gym.

Then, I got home, ate dinner and met up with some comedy chicks that I adore. And, I got booked at the Punchline for next month…So EFF YOU Wednesday!! I won.

And that’s it this week. What did I learn? When life gets tough, and things get in the way, and pain makes you want to stop ---don’t. That is what the old Me use to do. The old Me would have eaten a tub of frosting and said “I deserve this.” The old Me would have called in sick the next day. The old Me would have hit that wall and ended up cancelling my gym membership. The old Me would have blamed it all on anything but Me.

I like the new Me. Here is my mantra this week.....

What I am learning is that it's ok to be vulnerable.

What I need to do when I hit that wall is push my way through it.

What I love is making people laugh.

What I want is a nice bathing suit in November...in Maui.

What I deserve is to be healthy.

Even if I can't do take it one day at a time...it's ok to take it a minute at a time. Bad week or not, I pushed through and I am feeling GREAT about my achievements--on and off the scale. We ALL have those bad days and weeks. When they rear their ugly head--kick their ass. I did, and it feels great. I bet I won't see Wednesday for at LEAST another week....lol!

Here is a tribute to kicking this week's ass.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-1mla0LeU

Lost 1 lb and The Old Me!

I lost 1 lb. Yay? Well, I am most likely NOT going to reach my mini goal of being under 200 lbs by April 1, however, I am still plugging away at this new lifestyle. I have arm muscles, more energy than ever before and a positive outlook on my health for the future.

The Real (Funny) Housewives of Rio Linda are getting more press than I ever imagined--which is GREAT. But, seeing my body in pictures and on TV is unsettling at best, and it's encouraging me to keep up the hard work.

In order to motivate myself, I decided to post an old picture and show you all a full body shot of me at my heaviest. I need to do this so that I can continue to remind myself of why I am dancing, swimming, jiggling and sweating every night.

So, I went to my online photo account and guess what I found? Nothing. I have literally hid behind the camera for years. However, after combing through hundreds of photos of good times with old friends and family celebrations, I did inevitably find one.

 

THEN

<<  YIKES! My size 24 jeans.

(March 2006)

I was REALLY miserable back then. My life was in chaos. I was a mess....and not in the hot way. I was not taking care of myself, my priorities were far from being in order, I was on 100mg of Zolaft per day, and my husband had just gotten into a huge accident.

Today, I consider this picture a blessing. It has opened my heart to see the path I was on, and it wasn't pretty. I am so lucky to have woken up from this slumber in time to reverse my lifestyle. I don't even recognize this person anymore. I don't resemble her physically or emotionally. That is an NSV (Non-Scale Victory!)

 

NOW

My (loose) size 16 jeans. >>

(March 2010)

Thank you Isabel Ginsberg Photography!

I actually LIKE this picture. It's me, today! My curves are real, and fading. My smile is bright, my face is much thinner. I am internally happy and externally silly.

As I compare the two pictures, I realize that I am making changes that will allow me to be alive for a lot longer than the road I was once on. This is the greatest feeling in the world...much better than a tub of vanilla frosting.

Have a great week everyone!

Driving Miss Daisy

I love the conversations I have with Daisy while we drive home from the gym. Usually, we are both full of adrenaline and hyper and so we sing, make farting noises or talk about how much we can’t wait to goto the mall and buy glittery things.



But sometimes, we talk about serious stuff.



Monday night was no exception. The topic was reincarnation—because that is what inquiring ten-year old minds want to know—right? Anyways, as we discussed the possibility of re-embodiment, we ended up with one of the most hilarious conversations that I have ever had with anyone. It went a little something like this:



Daisy: What is reincarnation?

Mom: Some people believe that when you die, your soul goes into another living person, or animal.



Daisy: I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone else. I think I have always been in your tummy or Daddy’s tummy.



Mom: Ahhh, that’s sweet. You know, you were never technically in daddy’s tummy….



WHOOPS! Here is one of those times where I am talking and not thinking. (FYI--I do talk casually to my daughter about these things. Although she is well aware of the anatomically correct names for body parts, in our home we use real-life words. She’s being raised by a Marine and a Comedienne –what do you expect?)



Daisy: I wasn’t? Well, where was I?



Mom: uhm…you were a sperm, in his balls.



Daisy: EWWWWW!! HAHAHAHA!! EWWWW!!!



Mom: LOL



And then there was silence, followed by a long, drawn out......



Daisy: Sooooooooooooooooooooo….



Mom: (uh-oh, here comes the birds and bees conversation….again)



Daisy: So I was a sperm in dad’s balls….HAHAHAHA



Mom: Yes, along with a million others…but you made it into my tummy!



Daisy: So daddy put me in your tummy?



Mom: Uh, Yeah. (sigh).



It’s not that I wasn’t prepared for the birds and bees conversation, it just reminded me of the first conversation we had when she was about 6, and I simply told her that daddy has seeds that he puts in mommy’s tummy and then a baby grows…Daisy proceeded to squeal “OOOH!! Daddy has seeds? I love (sunflower) seeds, did you eat them?”….and I replied, “Only on anniversaries….” I digress.



Daisy is quiet. I can almost hear the wheels spinning in her head like a cracked-out hamster running on a wheel. Then she says:



Daisy: hmmmmmm….I wonder what I looked like.



Mom: BAHAHAHAH—what you looked like? Like what you were wearing?



Daisy: Yeah! I bet I was wearing a pink bow and a ponytail, so my hair didn’t get messed up.



Mom: BAHAHAHAHH



Daisy: ……and I probably had my peace sign necklace on. And then I was like, “I’m OUTTA here!!”



Mom: LMAO



Daisy: (laughing) what mom?



Mom: Do you know what sperm looks like?



Daisy: no, what?



Mom: It looks like a tadpole. You aren’t wearing any clothes; you’re just a tadpole with a tail, and no arms.



Daisy: OH!



Knowing now that she is entertaining me, my little passenger sits up straight in her seat, puts her arms to the side and squirms like, well, a sperm…and says: “I bet I was all, ‘I wish I had arms!’ ”



Mom: OMFG, LMAOOOOO with tears....



Daisy: that’s funny, huh mom?



Mom: Uh, yeah. Like, I-might-use-it-on-stage-this-week-funny.



Daisy: I wish I could say it on stage.



Mom: You totally can. Let me know when and where and I will let you!



Daisy: How would I start it?



Mom: Uh, maybe by saying, hi I’m Daisy and I’m 10 years old----



Daisy: Interrupts me---Oh, I know…Hi I’m Daisy and I’m 10 years old which means a little more than ten years ago I was in my daddy’s balls.



Mom: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



It. Doesn’t. End. There.



Last night, I said her joke on stage. It killed. And then when I got home, and told Rich about it, my darling husband informed me that Daisy had continued the conversation with him while they drove home from the gym….it went something like this:



Daisy: Did mommy tell you about my joke?



Dad: Yes. Do you want to tell it to me?



Daisy: No, I’m not going to tell you the joke, but it was about me being a sperm.



Dad: _______(insert cricket noise here)_______



Daisy: Yeah. I was thinking about what I looked like. I probably had my ponytail, pink bow and my necklace. But, I probably also had my locket with a picture of you two, my backpack…..and fins…so I could be the fastest. Here is a picture:

ROTFLMAO!



Ahhhhhh, Daisy, our sweet girl…yes, you were the fastest, and the cutest, and the smartest and I am so glad you were the one that made it into our lives.

Day 2 of Week 6 – I Won’t Give Up

I started my journey on January 25, 2010 and thought that I would drop major weight by now. But, I haven’t. This knowledge is not power. It makes my classes harder. It makes my workouts emotional. It makes me think that I bit off way more than I can chew…ooohh…chewing…remember Charleston Chew Bars? YUMMY—I digress. But so you SEE what it does? It makes me think about eating more bad stuff and I find myself falling prey to oh-so-familiar “I don’t give a crap” attitude.

When I started this project, I set some ground rules. I would blog and weigh in weekly. I would take measurements and post pictures monthly. No matter what.

Yesterday was March 1. I had to weigh in, take measurements and post a photo...and I was NOT looking forward to it. All day, I was filled with a bit of anxiety. My family had gotten together the night before and indulged in pizza, bread sticks, wings and chocolate silk pie….WHAT? Needless to say, I was NOT feeling well. In fact, I was pretty nauseous all day. I am not going to do that again or anytime soon. It’s just not the way I can or want to eat. But, it’s exactly the way I ate for years…almost daily.

Feeling ill and unmotivated, I almost didn’t go to the gym. But, knowing that I am committed to blog, measure, weigh and take a picture, well, it got my butt moving. Unwillingly, I went to my Zumba class. Now, usually I like to hide in the back row, but this class was so packed that I had to move to the middle. I tried not worry about blocking the view for the gals behind me…which I am sure I did anyways.

I danced. It hurt. My stomach hurt. My muscles ached. My back was tight….and so, I thought about just doing 30 minutes and leaving. But that isn’t who I want to be anymore. The half-assed way is not ok. So, instead, I forced myself to think about how great it will feel in 9 months, when I am on the beach in Maui. I envisioned myself barefoot, sun kissed and wearing a cute Hawaiian sundress. I saw myself dancing and laughing to the music on the beach with my hubby and my daughter. I thought about it to the point where I closed my eyes, and let the music move me…and it did. I found myself smiling and thinking that I will remember this day, this class. The one I almost left. In December, when I am on that beach, I will choose to think about how I stayed in this class, in this moment and how I earned every single second of it.


I left the gym and felt renewed, energized and ready for my weigh in and measurements. I got home and went to get a glass of water and found this note from my husband:

All things are difficult before they are easy.
-Thomas Fuller


AHHHH! What perfect timing he has!! I still don’t know what I did to deserve this guy. He is my rock. He is my biggest fan. He is amazing.

Into the living room I floated, smiling and eager to take my measurements.

I am so proud to say that I have lost a total of 9.25 inches!

Arms:   -1.75

Hips     -2.5

Tummy -5.0 <<<< YAY!

My bust and thighs seem to have stayed the same, which is fine. I am way more motivated by my arms and tummy. The weigh in stayed the same as last week—I have lost less than 5 lbs. But, the measurements---well, HOLLA!

So, it’s working. IT IS WORKING!!!

Here is my latest pic.

Thanks for taking this voyage with me.

Hip Hop class tonight, ahhhh yeah!