Being Funny Is No Excuse

I am proud to say that YES, I did workout, alone, on the main floor of the gym last week, and it felt GOOD. No, it felt GREAT! I broke a sweat, saw one person smile at me, encouraging or envious, I am not sure, but they saw that I was literally working my ass off. I didn’t get my special treat of the muscle man in tights, but I did it and it was fun. I was totally looking forward to the next time because, you know, I had to do it twice without my trainer. Twice. But I didn’t.

And yesterday, I had to face my German-as-a-first-language personal trainer and tell her that “YAY I DID IT ONCE…but there was a reason I couldn’t make it the rest of the week and weekend..just wait till you hear this! I had two comedy shows, family in town, a tired Monday and before I knew it—it was too late for me to get in another workout…so SURRY!”

I could see it in her eyes. It was no excuse. She looked me over and said nothing. I hate silence, so instead of accepting the “we both know I could have found time” stillness, I dug myself into the hole of all holes…

“……Look! I’ve been busy with Comedy-yay-comedy, my passion, my dream. You see, when I met you, I had just become part of The Real Housewives of Rio Linda (RHRL) and we got a few big shows, a write up in the Sac News and Review, an interview on Good Day Sacramento, and then two sold out shows…."

“I don’t have a T.V.”

WHHAAAAT—No TV???

"....Well, then, News10 did an interview with us and it gained a lot of attention because Rush Limbaugh picked it up and told the story on his show….then News10 told everyone about us on the RUSH show—I mean, he even put us on his homepage!”

“Who is Rush Limbaugh?”

DOH!

“Uhm, well, he is a crazy political guy who has a national radio show—we went National for a day…omg! THEN, we sold out a show in Modesto and then we came home and had a great show at Laughs Unlimited—I made $14---did you hear that? $14 Biyatch! THEEEEN—I GOT TO OPEN FOR GALLAGHER—I mean, he was like, totally famous in the 80s and 90s.”

“Who is Gallagher?”

GRRR......

“…..THEN, We were put on the front page of FunnyorDie.com where we have had over 200 hits—all ”FUNNY” in one day!

“What is Funny or Die?” 

*Sigh*

"I got hired to perform at the Susan G Komen race and I have an interview on KCRA tomorrow, but you prolly won’t see it….humffff. “

“Oh, I am walking in that race!”

UHG! Of course you are.

"So all of these reasons are why I haven’t worked out or taken my monthly picture."

“Didn’t you tell me you have a gym at work?”

OUCH. Busted. Moted. Face. Burn.

Final Score:
German-as-a-first-language personal trainer: 1 
Comedienne: 0

We worked out for the first time since last Thursday. It was a tough one. A ½ hour on the elliptical and then ½ hour of intense weight lifting. And today I am SORE. And I have to workout 2 more times, by myself, on the big, scary main floor, before I see her next Monday.

So, while my comedy life soars and I enjoy the wave I am riding, I have fallen off the track and my trainer could care less because she isn’t Amercian, she doesn’t care about fame, I can't charm or WOW her, she doesn't care about that stuff....she wants to get me in shape and I pay her for that. All of these reasons and more make her perfect for me.

The moral of yesterday’s story is that even if I am performing comedy every single night—I have a gym at work, including a walking course, and five flights of stairs. I have no excuses.